Sup up your beer and collect your fags
There's a row going on down near Slough
Get out your mat and pray to the West
I'll get out mine and pray for myself.

Thought you were smart when you took them on
But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest ?

Hello hooray what a nice day, for the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello hooray I hope rain stops play, with the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse
Tore down the House of Commons in your brand new shoes
Composed a revolutionary symphony
Then went to bed with a charming young thing.

Hello hooray cheers then mate, its the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello hooray an extremist scrape, with the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

What a catalyst you turned out to be
Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea
Left me standing, like a guilty schoolboy.

What a catalyst you turned out to be
Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea
Left me standing, like a naughty schoolboy.

We came out of it naturally the worst
Beaten and bloody and I was sick down my shirt
We were no match for their untamed wit
Though some of the lads said they'd be back next week.

Hello hooray there's a price to pay, to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello hooray I'd prefer the plague, to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello hooray there's a price to pay, to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello hooray I'd prefer the plague, to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles