i've not been feeling well lately
that empty grinding deep inside my gut
shivering cold sweats while i'm sleeping
confused, lost, and tired i've been thinking a lot]

walking over a dead world
sinking as i slide further in
lost in all the decay
in all the crumbling textures

all is gone now, all is lost . . .
i become like nothing . . .
i fade away . . .
lying cold and dying,

an empty shadow cloaked in dusk
no warmth, no feeling, no sensation,
no love, no god, no future
i've become a corpse

wandering aimlessly through the streets
swallowed by the city lights ablaze around me
groping through the choking haze surrounding
lost among this churning sea of strangers

looking up now,
feeling empty
the barren sky
arching above me
i feel so small--
not even present
left behind . . .
forgotton . . .

all is dying, all receeding . . .
my world is slowly graying . . .
i fade away . . .
lying cold and dying,
becoming nothing,
an empty shadow cloaked in dusk
no warmth, no feelings, no sensation,
no love, no god, no future
i've become a corpse


[how are you doing today?
i apologize for being rather anti-social at your house the other day
i was extremely tired
not focused
however, i have a question for you.
(sometimes i feel the need to . . . )
i thought you might enjoy a little (un?)stimulating communication
without actually having to look me in the eye.
although i do believe that you would be perfectly capable of doing that
(look me in the eye)
you probably would not want to.
it's a rip-off
common, exausting, and depressing
expendable
confused, lost, and tired
i have been thinking a lot

for me:
stay away from all human beings as much as possible
(that is not working very well - but i try)
(sometimes i feel the need to . . . )
do not worry i won't call you
i do not think either of us could handle that.
by the way, i do like being here.
(goodbye)

-finish my thoughts-