He met her at the Mallard, everything was going great
He said, "Hello, my name is Terry. Can I take you on a date?"
He picked her up at 7:00, everything was going fine
They had a little bit of beer and a lot of red wine
She invited him in cuz it was getting late
She said, "I slept with Terry, and it wasn't that great."
I slept with Terry, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

He woke up in the morning with an aching head
He rolled over and said "Baby, was I good in bed?"
She said, "you passed out, you woke up, you puked on my cat
I want you out of my apartment in 10 seconds flat."
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say
But from the smell of his skin, he'd been drinking all day
I slept with Terry, and all I got was a W-2