# A staple of early live shows, this opus about a man seeking sexual gratification via dirty phone calls was highlighted in concert by Chris's extended monologues recreating said calls. We would include excerpts here, but have no desire to have the site shut down by the keepers of the moral code.
# The track, as recorded, was "a bit too smutty for A&M- though they'll let us put it out on Deptford Fun City (one of Copeland's small labels)." (said Chris). Chris, who leads the heavy-breathing brigade onstage in contemplation of spreading peanut butter over choice parts of the female anatomy, said, "We've got a lot of versions of it, and might put out a live one since it's evolved onstage. And we did record loads of dirty phone calls- for the B-side; we swapped lists of friends and called each others' up. We've got some great ones."

"Lots of hanging up and 'I'll call the police,' but a lot of 'em thought they knew who was calling. 'Is this Michael?' 'Robert, is that you?'" said Jools.