When my granda' met with Patsy Cline
He thought he'd have a wonderful time
She stepped on his foot and he did pine
I'm none the better for dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh
Well Jim if we had a bob or two
I'd tell you what we just might do
Invite the ladies over a few
And maybe the maids'll come dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh

We told ol' Joe half eight for sure
He turned around and told one more
And four hundred nutters turned up at the door
All looking for maids to go dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh

We nearly had to fend them off
They came in the house and began to scoff
Of refreshment sure there wasn't enough
Enough for the maids to come dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh

They got in the whiskey and brandy too
Then Flannery spewed up on my shoe
He turned to me and said I love you
Oh Jimmy we better go dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh

To the Ashford house on a Friday night
Then Tuman's and Ginger's for a bite
And it's exit that's open through all of the night
If they'll let me back in to go dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh

Oh now come my boys and be aware
To make the scene you must take care
And not show up with puke in your hair
And maybe the maids will come dancing
Down at St. Anthony's oh