Look at me, I'm on the tele-v
How could this be, it's me on channel 3
Shiny shoes, and shiny hair
My stylist told me what to wear

She said to smile and look real thin
Oh woah oh woah

Is anybody watching me?
Or will I disappear?
Is anybody holding on me?
Am I wasting my time?

I want it, you need it
Come on baby, let's conceive it
If I fail, will you try?
Oh, no! Don't turn the channel off

Knock, knock, that's me on the other side
Put your hand on the screen, that's me you see
I'm trapped behind this glass
I'm trapped right in a box
But that that's me, right on the the tele-v