Bored at home, nothing to do but eat.
I'll give you a phone and you can come along the street.

You/I'll bring the junk food, I'll/you (can) hire the tape.
We can sit and poke fun at each other's shape.
Water pistols at dawn.
We were soaked to bits.
Then you/I tried to bite me/you.
So I/you hand-held hoovered your/my tits.
Toy fights on the floor.
Both drunk and drugged.
Out of breath when we stopped.
Then we sat on the stairs and hugged.