it was the seventh of december in the middle of the night
the street was deserted except for smoke and moonlight
the front of the papers read the latest scandal
the people versus when the dog chewed the handle
it's a strange kind of story as far as stories go
it's the tale of a man and his trusty fido
with police to the left of him on the right a dead vandal
the only excuse was that the dog chewed the handle

with the stick de la candle
or the study maybe strangled
the professor with the pistol
oh no the dog chewed the handle

he's got his integrity don't need no excuse
you can't say different got to let him loose
the guy shouldn't've been there but he chose to gamble
heads you win tails the dog chews the handle

i suppose if i'd thought i shouldn't leave them together
grip made of bone and a holster that's leather
freak kind of accident that sets an example
dogs like bones that's why the dog chewed the handle

with the stick de la candle
or the study maybe strangled
the professor with the pistol
oh no the dog chewed the handle

oh look at it from my angle
oh just look at it

with the stick de la candle
or the study maybe strangled
the professor with the pistol
oh no the dog chewed the handle x2

oh look at it from my angle
oh just look at it