(Originally named "Jumpin Jehosaphat")

Jehosaphat the mongrel cat
Jumped off the roof today
Some would say he fell but I could tell

He did himself away
His eyes weren't bright like they were the night
We played checkers on the train
God Bless his soul he was a tootsie roll
But he's a dead cat just the same

Chorus:
We are living in the future
I'll tell you how I know
I read it in the paper
Fifteen years ago
We're all driving rocket ships
And talking with our minds
And wearing turquoise jewelry
And standing in soup lines
We are standing in soup lines

Jake the barber's lonely daughter
Went down to her daddy's shop
She plugged herself to a barber pole
And took a little off the top
Pressure on the left. Pressure on the right
Pressure in the middle of the hole
I'm goin' to Maine on a forty foot crane
I'm gonna use it for a fishin' pole

Repeat Chorus

Old Sarah Brown sells tickets down
At the all night picture show
Where they grind out sex
And they rate it with an "X"
Just to make a young man's pants grow
No tops no bottoms just hands and feet
Screaming the posters out on the street
Strangling the curious and the weak
We give 'em what they want to see - O

Repeat Chorus