Brian... skate
Brian... skate
Brian... FIGHT
Brian... SKATE

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make up a plan and he'd follow through
That's what Brian Boitano'd do

Brian... skate
Brian... FIGHT

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold
He did two sow cows and a tripple lutz
Wearing a blind fold

And when Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears
He used his magical fire-breath
And saved the maidens fair

Brian... skate
Brian...

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he was here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two
That's what Brian Boitano'd do

Brian... skate
Brian...

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the Year 3010
He fought the evil Robot King
and saved us all again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kubla Kahn
Because Brian Boitano doesn't take shit
From anybody...

(No, Brian! Those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!)

I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings (x7)

Brian... skate
Brian... FIGHT

Well Brian Boitano was born
On the planet of Kreynuk
He came to Earth to save us all
From war and death and stuff

Heighdy-ho and heighdy-hey!
Brian Boitano's here!
So round up all you lass's
And tell him em have no fear

Say come over here my honey
And I'm gonna take off my pants
And I'm gonna make dirty love to you
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do