Well we just left the courthouse this morning
And the judge said we could go our seperate ways
And everything we own must be divided just like the separation papers say
You can keep the curtains and the tables and the chairs

And all those dirty dishes in the sink
Well you can take that golf club and the television set
And that lawnmower that's always on the blink
You can keep all the records and the hi-fi set
You can take that phoney fireplace and the log
Now you keep the car you keep the boat and I'll take the dog
No I'll take the dog oh no I'm gonna take the dog
Well who's gonna bring me my paper who's gonna keep me company
You'll just have to give him up no I ain't a partin' with the pupp
The dog belongs to me
Now hold on Ray you ain't gonna take this dog away from me
I'm the one that feeds him every day
And who always takes care of him when he's sick
Now wait just a minute Jeannie I guess that you forget
Who it was that always took him to the bed
Paid for all of them shots of seven bucks a lick
You can just forget about him I ain't leaving you without him
Then you'll just have to stay I guess that's the only way okay
I'll give back the curtains and the tables and the chairs
And I'll wash the dirty dishes in the sink
And I won't take the golf clubs and the television set
And I'll fix that mower that's always on the blink
We'll both listen to the records on the hi-fi set
By the fireplace with this gas burnin' log
We'll go ridin' in our car and we'll go sailin' in our boat
And we'll both take the dog yes we'll both take the dog
Come on baby (huff huff)