(c.w. mccallbill frieschip davis)

Yee-haw! merciful sakes alive! you wanna be one a' them cbersyou gonna learn how to ratchetjaw! pay attention now; I'm only gonna explain it to ya once.

You gotta go runnin' amuck in a pick-'em-up truck
With one a' those fancy sidebands?
Get four-on-the-floor and two on the door
Get a power mike in yer jaw-hand
Prepare to strike when ya key the mike
'cause ya never know who's a-listenin'
Some clown insists on a 10-36
This here's what you give 'im:

"fourgood buddyI made me a study
An' I figger it's the dark a' the moonson
It's half-past spring an' a quarter ta fall
An' the big hand's a-settin' on noonson
Now if the fish don't bite and the almanac's right
And the groundhog sees his shadow
A 10-36 goes tick-tock-tick."
And that's what I call ratchetjaw!

Gotta git ya a baseout there at yer place
With a forty-foot pole on the chimney
With a thousand watts in yer flowerpots
And a ree-mote line in the biffy
If ya feel a twitch when ya throw the switch
Ya gonna dim all the lights in wichita
Gonna send out a wave ta make the government rave
And this here's whatcha tell 'em all:

"yeahfourgood buddyyer comin' in cruddy
But yer walkin' right through my wallboy
Yer carrier's coolyou makin' me drool
You were definitely battin' my ballboy
You hittin' me round about fifteen pound
You cut me up like a bandsaw
But what the heckit's just a radio check."
And that there's how to ratchetjaw

[cb conversations. they're overlaidas if you're listening to a party line.]

[woman's voice] breakerbreakerbreakerbreaker. we lookin' for that one buffalo roy out there. buffalo roywhat's your twenty? where are you anywaybuffalo roy? are you out there? come on
Erebuffalo roy. 10-4.

[man's voice] lissenyou. shut up on all them breakers. one breaker's enough. [words missing]...channel all the time. can't hear a damn thing anybody's sayin'.

[c.w.] buffalo roy? that's a dumb handle.

Wanna feel some pain? just turn up yer gain
Get a fearful earful a' garbage
Ta suppress a belchjust hit yer squelch
You can cut out all the carnage
You wanna have funyou son-of-a-guns
Just get on the press-ta-talk switch
You gonna amuse 'em an' really confuse 'em
With a little ol' thing called ratchetjaw

Yeahlet them suckers think yer a trucker
Say stuff they can't understandson
Just bounce up-an'-down while yer toolin' around
Gonna sound like a truck-drivin' manson
Just tell yer beaver that you gonna leave 'er
You catch her on the bounce-around
If she comes back with a smart-off crack
Say "x-y-lit's show-an'-tell. we definitely got us to go now.
Keep yer pants on honeyhang onto the money
Yer x-y-m's gotta blow now
Eighty-eightthirdsand feed my bird
An' all them numbers upon ya all
If speed don't killthen cb will."
And that's what I call ratchetjaw

[more cb conversations.]

Breakerbreakerbreakerbreakerbreakerbreaker[repeated almost ad infinitumpunctuated by bouts of laughter]

[man's voice. begins deepslowly rising to shirley and squirrely squeakiness.] yeah10-4we got yabreaker. come back on that? saywhat kind a'... s'not? some kind a' cotton-pickin'... you
N' me onaren't cha? yeahyou puttin' me onaren't cha? [laughter] 10-4. 10-4.