Well if you go down to the bar tonite
you could be in for a big surprise
'cas they'll be shakin' those drapes
an' stompin' those crepes
an' swingin' those bunches-a-fives

And they'll be bangin' on the counters
stampin' on the dough-nuts
layin' to waste all the bacon rolls
and be wadin' 'round in the rubble
on the look-out for any trouble
with big lead pipes and long poles

And they'll be removing all the table-cloths
chopping up the tables
and redecorating the men's-room
Tearin' down the ceiling
sendin' coathangers reelin´
While the juke-box blows a tune

Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble tonight
Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble tonight

And they'll be tearin' up the 'phone-books
rippin up the menus
tiltin' all the pin-ball machines
manglin' up the perculators
turnin' off the circulators
burnin' those sandals and jeans

An' they'll be strippin' down the walls
tearin' up the pumps
re-locating all the cups and plates
dislocatin' shoulders
heavin' piles of boulders
through the windows
with big iron crates

And there'll be swearin' in the alley
bowling at the Palais
dog-shows at the town hall too
National networked broadcasts
new names and dates in who's who

'This is the Police department speakin!
Come out with your hands up
We've got your surrounded
Stand up against the line there buddy
Who dialed 999? Up against the wall there:
'This has been a Public Health announcement:

Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble Tonite
Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble...