(or.. foolishly thinking that the first time your heart breaks is the worst one and after that it gets easier because you have more experience on such matters.)

Ashtrays overflowing, pools of spilled wine
Breakfasting on black coffee and five cigarettes
This is how I choose to while away my time
I can feel it crawling slowly across my skin with insect legs so thin

Fearless now the sky has fallen so many times before
No need to ask me how I feel now use your eyes instead
no need to ask me if you're welcome do I look like I would push you away?

Who I am today is the price I've paid for what I used to want more than anything
Choices that I've made sometimes made me hate everything in me
it's a cesspool inside, the sewer of lost hopes