I have to clear your table
I wipe it
It's right to keep it clean
so I clean
yes --- I clean

do you clean?
yes --- I clean it

I have to empty ash trays
so I empty them
it's right to keep them clean
so I clean
yes --- I clean
I'm the queen of the clean

...and I'd probably
be famous now
if I wasn't
such a good waitress...

I am a drag at parties
cuz it upsets me
to see so many empties
and I have to pick them up
or I have to go home

...but sometimes I have nightmares
and the ashtrays are filling up
and I can't find my section
and the bottles are flying through the air
like crazy autumn leaves
and I can't find my section
I lost my section
I lost my section
I can't find it
somebody help me please
I am in quicksand
I am in mud to my knees
help me... aaagghhh...

I have to clear your table
excuse me
it's right to keep it clean
so I clean
yes --- I clean
do you clean?
yes --- I clean it

I have to know the regulars
well --- I don't have to
but I like to know their names
and I know them even better
when they're nice to me

... and I'd probably
be famous now
if I wasn't
such a good waitress...