[Originally by Fergie]

[Speaking]
Erik: Bowling For Soup
Jaret: We are... that. Eric is correct and that... right there.
Erik: Yes.
Jaret: Today we're gonna be performing London Bridge by Fergie.
We're performing it today because London Bridge Is Falling Down was one of Chris' favourite... favourite songs
Chris: That's our only cause. Let's get that London bridge up.
Erik: I was just gonna go with because.
Jaret: Because Chris is looking for his fair lady.
Chris: That's right. And I think Fergie is that one.
Jaret: All right, let's start this song. Erik, this is your big intro. Your big chance.
Erik: Oh, oh... Oh... Oh, snap!
Jaret: Yeah.
Erik: Oh, snap.
Jaret: Say it, say it like you mean it. C'mon.
Erik: Oh, snap!

[Music comes in]
Jaret: I like this. Let's get some oh, snaps. Bring in the oh, snaps.
(Oh, snap!)
Erik: That was a good one?
(Oh, snap!)
[Singing]
When I come into the club, step aside. (Oh, snap!)
Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line. (Oh, snap!)
V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine. (Oh, snap!)
I’m Jaret Jare, and me love you long time. (Oh, snap!)
All my girls get down on the floor, (Oh, snap!)
Back to back, drop it down real low. (Oh, snap!)
I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, (Oh, snap!)
‘Cause you know
I don’t give a ..., so here we go!

How come everytime you come around my London, London bridge
Wanna go down like London, London, London
Like London, London, London.
[X2]

Now As The drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking...

Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.
Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes.
It’s like everytime I get up on the dew,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.

And I'm like get up out my face. (Oh, snap!)
'Fore I turn around and spray your face with mace. (Oh, snap!)
My lips, you wanna have a taste. (Oh, snap!)
You got that?

[Speaking]
Erik: Seriously, everyone in this club, I believe, is getting pritsy
Jaret: Uhh...
Erik: Can we finish this?

[Singing]
I got the bass!

How come everytime you come around my London, London bridge
Wanna go down like London, London, London
Like London, London, London.
[X2]

(La, la da, da, da, la da, da, da)
Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right
Jaret love em' long time
[X2]

[Speaking]
Jaret: Oh, man. This feels good. Seriously, I'm not kidding, right now.
I wanna play this song forever and ever and ever.
I wanna go down in history as being the band that came to Yahoo and just played their hearts out.
And played forever and ever. And seriously, I want the chairman of the board to come in and pour champagne for everybody.
Because right now, I'm lovin' life. You guys lovin' life?
Erik, you lovin' live? He's lovin' life. Are you lovin' life? Yes, he's lovin' life.
Erik? Yep, he's lovin' life.

[Singing]
Oh, snap! (Oh, snap)
When I come into the club, step aside.
Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line.
V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine.
I’m Jaret Jare, and me love you long time.
All my girls get down on the floor, (Oh, snap)
Back to back, drop it down real low. (Oh, snap)
I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, (Oh, snap)
And you know what?
Here we go.

How come everytime you come around my London, London bridge
Wanna go down like London, London, London
Like London, London, London.
[X2]

(How come?!)
(How come?!)
(How come?!)
Jaret: I don't know.
(How come?!)
Jaret: Erik, I don't know. I'm sorry.
(How come?!)
Jaret: I have no earthly idea!
(How come?!)
Jaret: Erik, I'm confused, seriously.
(How come?!)
Jaret: Stop asking me that!
(How come?!)
Jaret: I don't know!
(How come?!)
Jaret: Seriously.
(How come?!)
Jaret: Oh... you got a little snot, right here. Oh, snap!
[Guitar continues]
Jaret: Chris, Chris, Chris, the song's over.
Chris: What song?
Jaret: The one we were just playing.
Chris: I just got started.