You make-believe celebrities
Taking bows in front of me
In your dickey-bow ties
In your dickey-bow ties

Pick your nose beside the stage
Jesus Christ has come of age
So you've had a good cry
So you've had a good cry

Reach out there's people in the stalls
A Blackpool season isn't very small
Reading commercials on TV
Is just as good as a bad Page 3 review

We all know it's so hard for you
Revue
We all know it's so hard for you

In the dressing room you find
Telegrams with good luck lines
So nice to be known
So nice to be known

The curtain falls so that's the end
You hit the bottle once again
So you've had a good crowd
So you're one of the crowd

Reach out there's people in the stalls
A Blackpool season isn't very small
Reading commercials on TV
Is just as good as a bad Page 3 review

We all know it's so hard for you
Revue
We all know it's so hard for you
Revue
We all know it's so hard for you
Revue
We all know it's so hard for you