She's the woman of the year
Independent, a career
There's not a thing that she couldn't do
She's alert, she's aware
She's got legs like Astaire
And a hundred fifty-seven IQ

She has several PHDs
Speaks fluent Japanese
And her shoes will always match with her purse
And every street she's walking down
Everybody turns around and says
'HELLO NURSE!'

She likes cheese and pepperoni
Won a Pulitzer and a Tony
She played the leading role in King Leer
She never drinks, she never smokes
She never laughs at dirty jokes
She was ambassador to China last year

Oh, she's politically correct
She'd never call collect
She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse
And when she's walking by
I give a little sigh, and shout
'HELLO NURSE!'

She gets her math equations right
She reads Tolstoy every night
She won the Nobel prize in physics, it's true
She drives a shiny new Corvette
Sings opera at the Met
And volunteers her time at the zoo

Oh, she won a scholarship to Yale
Got a Fullbright in the mail
And took a two year junior college degree
She's manna sent from Heaven
Too bad I'm only seven
'Cause, Hello Nurse
I wish you'd take care of me!

If she's not everything that we've said
Then may lightening strike us dead