Strap them kids in

Give em a lil bit of vodka

in a cherry coke

were goin to oklahoma

to the family reunion
for the first time in years

its up at uncle slatons

cuz hes gettin on in years

no longer travels but hes

still pretty spry

hes not much on talk

and hes too mean to die

and they'll be comin down

from kansas and west arkansas

it'll be one big old party

like you've never saw



uncle slaton's got his texan pride

back in the thickets with his asian bride

hes got an airstream trailer and a

holstein cow

still makes whiskey cuz he still knows how

plays that chocktaw bingo every friday night

you know he had to leave texas but he won't say why

he owns a quarter section up by lake ufalla

caught a great big ol bluecat on a driftin jugline

sells his hardwood timber to the chippin mill

cooks that crystal meth cuz his shine don't sell

he cooks that crystal meth cuz his shine don't sell

you know he likes that money, he don't mind the smell



my cousin roscoe, slaton's oldest boy

from his second marraige up in illinois

hes raised in east st louis by his

mammas people where they do things different

thought he'd come on down

hes goin to dallas texas in a semi truck

caught from that big mcdonalds

you know that one thats built up on that

big old bridge across the will rogers turnpike

took the big cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarrets

at that indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings

in the cherokee nation hit muskogee late that night

somebody ran the stoplight at the shawnee bypass

roscoe tried to miss him but he didn't quite



bob and mae come up from

some little town way down by

lake taxoma where he coaches football

they were two-A champions for two years running

but he says they wont be this year

not they wont be this year

and he stopped off in tuska at the pop knife and gun place

bought a sks rifle and a couple full cases of that steel core ammo

with the berdan primers from some east bloc nation

that no longer needs em

and a desert eagle thats one great big old pistol

i mean fifty caliber made by bad-ass Hebrews

and some surplus tracers for that old BAR

of slatons as soon as it gets dark

were gonna have us a time

were gonna have us a time



ruth-anne and lynn come from baxter springs

thats one hell-raisin town way down in

southeastern kansas

got a biger bar next to the lingerie store

thats got rollin stones lips up there in

bright pink neon

and they're right downtown where everyone can see em

and they burn all night

you know they burn all night

they burn all night



Uncle slaton's got his texan pride

back in the thickets with his asian bride

hes got a corner pasture and an acre lots

he sells them owner financed strictly to them

its got no kind of credit

cause he knows they're slackers

and they'll miss that payment

and he'll take it back

plays that choctaw bingo

every friday night

he drinks his johnny walker

at that club 69

were gonna strap those kinds in

give em a lil bit of benadryl

were gonna have us a time

were gonna have us a time