"I started on a journey about a year ago,
To a little town called Morrow in the state of Ohio,
I've never been much of a travler, and I really didn't know,
That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go.

So I went down to the station and applied,
For tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed
Said I, "My Friend I'd like to go to Morrow and return,
No Later than tomorrow for I haven't time to burn."

Said he to me "Now let me see if I have heard you right,
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night,
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today,
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.

If you had gone to Morrow yesterday, now don'tcha see,
You could've gone to Morrow and returned today at three,
For the train today to Morrow if the schedule is right,
Today it goes to Morrow and returns tomorrow night."

Said I, "My friend it seems to me you're talking through your hat,
There is a town named Morrow on the line now tell me that."
"There is," said he, "but take from me a quiet little tip,
to go from here to Morrow is a fourteen hour trip.

The train today to Morrow leaves today at eight thirty five,
At half past ten tomorrow is the time it should arrive,
So if from here to Morrow is a fourteen jump,
Can you go today to Morrow and get back today you chump?"

Said I, "I'd like to go to Morrow so can I go today,
And get to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?"
"Well, well," said he to me, "And I've got no more to say,
Can you get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today?"

Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say,
How can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?"
Said he, "You cannot go to Morrow any more today,
'Cause the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way."

I was so disappointed, I was mad enough to swear,
The train had gone to Morrow and had left me standing there,
A man was right in telling me that I was a howling jay,
I could not go to Morrow so I guess in town I'll stay."