I'm not a tolerant person
In fact I get more intolerant by the day
I just find it more and more difficult to tolerate assholes
As my tolerance decreases, their numbers seem to increase
Every day there's more and more of them
And every day I have less and less patience
I'm not a mere bigot
But I certainly don't cut any slack to anyone on the merit of their status as an oppressed minority
Your people were enslaved? Tough luck
The white man stole your land? Too fuckin' bad
Your fair sex is plagued by date rape? Grin and bear it
These days everyone has a sob story, and frankly, I don't care
It's no excuse for being an asshole
We live in the age of the excuse
We live in the age of the asshole
They're everywhere
They come in all shapes, all sizes, all colors
There are black assholes, white assholes, women assholes, men assholes, queer assholes, straight assholes, smart assholes, stupid assholes, suburban assholes, inner-city assholes, homeless assholes, upwardly-mobile assholes, lazy assholes, incompetent assholes, sloppy assholes, anal assholes
And so it goes, ad nauseum
Why should I tolerate any of them?
Why should I tolerate anything I don't care for, for any length of time?
Why should I pretend it's okay?
I don't like assholes
Don't like talking to them; don't like talking about them
Don't like knowing them; don't like knowing about them, or their thoughts, or their deeds
Assholes are like bad ideas
You let even a single one into your life, it can begin to ruin things
It can destroy what's good, and foster much that's bad
Why tolerate that?
Tolerance was a virtue once; no more
There aren't enough hours in the day to tolerate all the assholes
To tolerate all the indignities hurled your way and still be able to live a decent life
Perhaps Goethe said it best: that which disturbs your soul, you must not suffer
Remember that when it seems like assholes are hard at work to disturb your soul 24 hours a day
Take a tip from Mr. Intolerance: don't permit them to