Some people might like to get a train to work,
Or drive in in a Beamer or a Merc.
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today.
I'm gonna take my bike,
'Cos, once again, the tube's on strike.
The greedy bastards want extra pay,
For sitting on their arse all day,
Even though they earn 30K.
So, I'm standing here in the pouring rain:
Where the fuck's my fucking train?!

London Underground, (London Underground)
They're all lazy, fucking, useless cunts.
London Underground, (London Underground)
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all with a rifle.

All they say is, 'Please mind the doors.",
And they learned that on the two-day course.
This job could be done by a four-year-old,
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
What you smell is what you get,
Burger King and piss and sweat.
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet
And chewing gum on every seat.
So, don't tell me to mind the gap:
I want my fucking money back!

London Underground, (London Underground)
They're all lazy, fucking, useless cunts.
London Underground, (London Underground)
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all with a rifle.

La, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la.

The floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp.
But the drivers get the day off, when we're all late for work again.

London Underground, (London Underground)
Wa-wa-wankers, they're all wankers.
London Underground, (London Underground)
Take your OysterCard, and shove it up your arsehole.