The Count has an eye on his ankle
He lives in a horrible place
He wants all your money
He’s never at all funny
He wants to remove your face

You might have been thinking what a romp this is
But wait till you meet his accomplices

When you see Count Olaf
You’re suddenly full of disgust and despair and dismay
In the whole in the soul of Count Olaf
There’s no love
When you see Count Olaf count to zero
Then scream and run away

Scream, scream, scream and run away
Run, run run run run run run run
Or die, die die die die die die die...