Strain

I never know when the fever starts to grow
I only realise that my mind is gonna blow
No emotion, no fusion, just a vision of ease
When I float into nothing and wait for some peace

You'll never find out why all my senses cry
You'll never know that my heart is gonna die
It's an illusion of nothing, a filthy picture of decay
Like in a minute of silence and some pulse-delay

Without our self-relief, there would be no hate or grief
It makes me wonder why, we don't just decide to die
Without our phantasie there'd be no fear inside us all
Is there anybody out there, do you hear me call?

If you decide to seek the truth
Beyond the seal of constant youth
You'll find an empty desperate strain
'cause inside of me there's nothing more than ... pain!

Feel free to heal & lose yourself
In moments of sorrow & emptiness
Keep breathing for another revival
Construction of night & a secret denial

I thought this little jewel would help let me forget
To abandon reality (&) the moments I regret
To shed all emptiness, destroy despair
The burning smell of scars is waving through the air

Sometimes I used to feel that wounds will never heal
On the horizon of forgiveness there's nothing here to seal
Instead it seems to kill me slower than I thought
It's only flashy moments that I have caught

And nails are piercing me, like in a grief of killing spree
All fear inside my brain is starting to haunt me again
It's all fucked-up somehow, a burden more to take
I erase myself by now, don't want to awake