Well I've got some friends of mine,
And on Monday nights we pass the time.
One drinks beer and one drinks gin.
We like the little boys and not the men.
We keep our eyes open for the little dudes,
‘Cause they never try to tell us what to do.
They look real cute in their baggy clothes,
Some gots an earring in their nose.

Where are you little dude?
Don’t you know I'm in love with you?
Well I ain't old enough to be your mom,
But you were six years old when I went to the prom.
Where are you little dude?
Don’t you know I'm in love with you?
Well you hardly have to shave around that smile,
Please don't think I'm a pedophile.

My beer-drinking pal likes 'em kind of geeky,
Tape on the glasses and clean and squeaky,
Well, you know she rocks all the little dudes’ worlds
‘Cause she's a full-grown woman lookin' just likes a girl.
My other girlfriend got a mouth full of braces,
Likes the white trash dudes at the greyhound races.
She’s a sexy mama got big dark eyes,
Makes this one little dude just run and hide.

Where are you little dude?
Don’t you know I'm in love with you?
Well I ain't old enough to be your mom, but
You were six years old when I went to the prom.
Where are you little dude?
Don’t you know I'm in love with you?
Well you're making me feel like a naughty lady
Thinkin’ ‘bout Greg and Mrs. Brady.

I drove this little dude home one day.
He asked my age along the way,
I said when you were born I was already ten.
I never saw that little dude again.

Where are you little dude?