Well I start my day with coffee and I end it with a beer
And in between I wonder what the hell I’m doin’ here
You know I’ve heard it said that all good things must come to an end
And since my baby left me, coffee and beer are my two best friends

Well she weighed about a hundred pounds and she had pretty long black hair
And I knew she was trouble when I saw her standing there
I swear she looked right through me, Lord, she did not even blink
She said, “I’m a little thirsty, why don’t we share a drink?”
But once I got to know her I was in for a little surprise
There was a logical reason for that buzzed look in her eyes
You see she had a little problem with alcohol and caffeine
She just couldn’t face the real world without beer and coffee beans

Well I start my day with coffee and I end it with a beer
And in between I wonder what the hell I’m doin’ here
You know I’ve heard it said that all good things must come to an end
And since my baby left me, coffee and beer are my two best friends

Each and every morning she’d get juiced up on the stuff
All day she’d run me ragged, my best was never good enough
At night she was a real demon, a porter and a lager and an ale
My heart was getting a workout, but my liver was beginnin’ to fail
When she gave me my walking papers, I wiped my eyes and I blew my nose
I knew I’d miss her kind of lovin’, but I could live without the highs and lows
Headaches and hangovers followed all those bottles and mugs
And I learned a thing or two about the world’s most popular drugs

Well I start my day with coffee and I end it with a beer
And in between I wonder what the hell I’m doin’ here
You know I’ve heard it said that all good things must come to an end
And since my baby left me, coffee and beer are my two best friends