Doctors today are doing incredible things
They can rebuild your knees with implanted metal and springs
If you’re losing your hair or need intensive care ...
Each day’s morning paper, a new development brings

Doctors today have really progressed
Our medical care is surely the best
For every disease there’s a diagnostic test
But when they come up with the cure for heartache
When they come up with the cure for heartache
When they come up with the cure for heartache
... then I’ll be impressed

Doctors today can add 15 years to your life
And when your skin starts to sag you can always go under the knife
If your cat makes you sneeze or your dog gives you fleas
Why there’s even a pill to help a man make love to his wife

Doctors today have really progressed
Our medical care is surely the best
For every disease there’s a diagnostic test
But when they come up with the cure for heartache
When they come up with the cure for heartache
When they come up with the cure for heartache
... then I’ll be impressed

Someday there’ll be an answer for each kind of cancer
And when it happens, I’ll offer a toast
But the kind of cure of which I’m less sure
Is the one that the world needs the most