Ralph:
Little Mary Sunshine with her hem cut so low
Little Mary Sunshine with her ducks in a row
(Mary: it burns my lungs)
Little Mary Sunshine needs a change in her life
(Mary: My head feels funny, Ralph!)
Little Mary Sunshine needs a man
(Mary: Oh!)

Now come on, Mary Sunshine
It's time that you learned to be bad!
You make a charming armful
So snuggle up, my buttercup, 'cuz you been had
(Mary: Oh Ralph I think you tricked me!)

Oh, smoke it, Mary Sunshine
Dissolve in the sweet burning glow
Come lose yourself in pleasure
When the bambalacha's gotcha you'll forget the word "No"
(Mary: I can't, what about Jimmy?)

Jimmy's a rube, provincial and dull
Don't be tricked, he's strictly quadrilateral!

Mary:
Jimmy's a boy, I'm ready for men
Let's go up and down and up and down and down again!
I feel a little naughty!

Ralph:
Baby, I'll help you relax!

Mary:
I'll tie you up with phone cord
We'll play with whips and nipple clips and candle wax!

Ralph:
Now hold on, Mary Sunshine
Let's not get carried away!

Mary:
Just call me Mary "Wanna"
And Mary's got some scary little games to play!
I'll lather you up and give you a shave
A paddling while straddling my little slave!
Down on your knees! It's pointless to fight!
Save your strength, it's gonna be a lengthy night!

(Ralph: Help, this crazy tomata's raping me!)

Ralph, Mary:
Goodbye to Mary Sunshine!
Reefer has blown out her mind!
She's now a hot-hay hussy!

Mary:
Don't you run! I'm not done!
Can't you tell we've just begun?!
What's your rush? You're not having fun?!

Ralph:
No, I'm really not!

Both:
Mary, Mary Sunshine
Burns for, yearns for dirty love!