Hey little baby you act like I'm crazy
Walking around in my sleep
Well if I knew it why on earth would I do it
I've other appointments to keep
In my sleep

Spare me the drama you slipped on a banana
After you'd eaten the skin
How could you do it are you really that stupid
Knowing that there was a bin you could put it in

Of course being a Monday would be the one day
Trains are delayed by the score
And it never rains but it pours
Mine's not due for a week

Would you believe it our Adam and Eve skit
Didn't go quite as we'd planned
Leaves we were using both of our choosing
Fell off and so we got banned
Could have used a hand

Heart has been broken credit card stolen
Off-licence closing its doors
And it never rains but it pours
Why I've no idea

But if you want romance
Then here's a good tip leave all expletives behind
And as for the men maybe they should try
Giving flowers from time to time

Call me a loser cos I didn't choose her
Call me a fool if you like
Sure she was pretty but when she said hit me
That kind of gave me a fright
As well it might

A word from Head Office there, being no profits
We have to show you the door
And it never rains but it pours
Rents just been increased

If only the good days outnumbered the bad
If only the bad died young
In an ideal world we would still disagree

But doing so would be fun
Smile for the camera the one that can't stand ya
You know the one that I mean
Where every picture looks like a mixture
Of hideous crass and obscene
But never lean

Afloat on a big lake boat hits a big wave
After which you lose the oars
And it never rains but it pours
Now it's started to leak