In My Mind I See...

I feel hurt
The type of hurt that could burn a hole through your soul
When it kills you so much inside
You would do anything in your power to erase the one who hurt you
This way from your memory
"..So much hate in such a delicate, small body.."
It's overwhelming how much I want you to die
Laying on the ground,bleeding,crying,begging me
To stop hurting you because you can't possibly deal with the pain
This hate...it scares me, even
I can't control it...I don't think I want to
I want to unleash it and let it kill you
..Hate is all I have felt lately...
I feel hurt
The type of hurt where it's uncontrollable and flows in your body
Overwhelming my insides
The tears keep running down my face and no matter how much I try
They still appear..slowly. Washing away my self pride
Such pain,such hurt. it's killing my heart, I feel it ripping apart
Unbearable pain you've caused me..and...
I wouldn't even wish this on YOU!
This type of hurt...is self destructive. I just want to
KILL MYSELF FOR YOU
..Hurt is all I feel lately...

I feel alone
Nobody understands the pain,the fear
The sadness that controls my head,my heart,my actions
Why would they understand,though?
You didn't put them through this..JUST ME!
My friends are happy with relationships of their own. Not ME
I stand here...crying. Alone
..Alone is all I feel anymore...

I feel scared
Scared of what I was and what I've become
Is this really me? NAH..it can't be!
LOOK AT WHAT THE FUCK YOU'VE DONE TO ME
I'm scared of the future cause I can't let go of the past
And the past because it's led to the present
I'm scared to admit it...but Life is NOTHING to me unless
Your here,with me. Helping me on my way
Scared of them..it..you...my life..ME.
...Scared is all I feel lately...

I feel regret
Why did I waste everything I had inside of me..on you?
Why didn't I keep my self-respect & just say goodbye?
Why did I do this?
Why..why am I so fucking stupid?
Why am I letting you control my emotions,my life,ME?
Why am I finally letting you go without a fight?
I regret you,I regret this year
I regret everything
...Regret is consuming me...

I feel you
I feel you look at me and then quickly look away
Because you know deep down,you care. But you won't admit it
I feel the old,caring you
Holding my hand,kissing me...showing me what LIFE and LOVE was
Making my life seem worthwhile...giving me reasons to keep living
I feel the new,coldhearted you
Not giving a damn about anyone but herself
Destroying all of my positive assets. Everything about me
The one who laughs when I cry
You're you. You'll LAUGH when I DIE
I'd kill myself over you
I feel you...killing me
..You is all I know-remember-need-and want..
[i miss you-i hate you-i love you]