After the gig he gets to talk to the girls while I'm moving the equipment back to 39th street
And then it's 5:15, he slithers home and I flick on the light, I say, "Where the hell have you been?"
He says, "We been sampling rare narcotics in the VIP lounge at Danceteria."
He says, "We been slipping fingers on a lap dancing booty eyed groupie caught in stages of hysteria."

My stunt double is cooler than me

So then I'm walking down the street the next day when a girl I've never seen says, "You were so good last night."
She says, "Come back to my hotel room, I want to do it, want to do it again with you, yeah, right now."
But afterwards she looks at me, she says, "How could you have made me so impressed?"
She says, "I've heard of Jekyll and Hyde, but the way you touched me--I was naked, your hands made me feel like I was fully dressed."

My stunt double is cooler than me
No one seems to want me since he came along