Won't you think before you pencil in the bridesmaids,
With your make-up and your dates, you make expensive, ugly wives.
Oh won't you think before you pencil in the bride.

They loiter around your local Alldays always,
Trying to charm the charmless girls in their charmless arms. They say,
And if they're really lucky they'll be with them for a fortnight,
Hassling passers by: Spare fag, change or light?
The time comes to exchange the wedding bands,
(But they've already got a dozen or so on each hand.)
But the boy knows yet another sovereign ring,
Will make yet another dent in his quarry's chin.

She wants him at home, but he's at his Alldays always,
And he's glad he's not seen her, and her best friend's not sad either.
And then after a week his conscience catches up with him,
But he gets there, she's not at home,
And his best friend won't answer the phone.

Oh ginger come home,
Oh ginger come home. (Come home ginger.)

I suppose you go around in groups, you're wearing four-inch hoops,
I suppose you don't wish to intimidate your boyfriend.
With your make-up and your dates, you make expensive, ugly wives.
Oh won't you think before you pencil in the bride.

I reckon they're out of their minds or maybe it a disease,
But either way the result, it doesn't hurt to say please.
But they're scared of being drowned out by the whimpering dogs,
Because it's them that we turn to for comparisons,
Of the ability to instil lust...
Even in their underwear.
You got a mobile phone, it's a long distance home,
You'll have to stay, left her in your underwear.