I have a friend, a bad ass friend
And his name is BranMan
He's still cool, still the same old fool
His best friend is his left hand

He used to have this bad ass girl
She used to be mine though
And he had this other girl
And now he thinks she's a ho

I have this friend, this fat ass friend
You might call him a metal head
We've hung out since 4th grade
He's probably my best friend

He never had any bad ass chicks
But he had a crush in the 6th grade
She goes out with some preppy dude
That one time called him "babe"

His left hand is his best friend too

I used to have my note pad, and it was my only friend
Now I have these assholes, and they're there to the end
I'm so glad I have my friends, because the kick so much ass
And I'm so glad that I have friends and I'm not like I was in the past

I have this friend, this hot ass friend
You might say that she's a Goth
I met her when I turned grunge
I still think she's fuckin' hot

She listens to that horror punk
And C.O.F., and old doo wop
She likes blood, and lots of stuff
Just say Silvberchair!!!

I have this friend, this purdy friend
She's a bad ass fan of KoRn
She goes out with a kick ass guy
And he's perfect for her

She has orangish hair
But it used to be pink
And she's always going blind
But she makes me smile, all the time

I used to have my note pad, and it was my only friend
Now I have these bad ass chicks, and they're there to the end
I'm so glad I have my friends, because the kick so much ass
And I'm so glad that I have friends and I'm not like I was in the past