It's a wonderful life
It's a Wonderful Life is a wonderful movie, wonderful movie, it's a wonderful movie

George Bailey is a little boy, he saves his brother's life
His brother fell in a hole, in a hole in a hole in a hole
So George Bailey got him out of the hole and then he bought him a whore
Not really
Ha ha ha ha ha

So then... so then George Bailey gets attacked by his boss at the drugstore, 'cuz he was sellin' drugs to little children
So then George Bailey likes Mary, and then he steals her bathrobe
And then they're fuckin' in the bushes, fuckin' in the bushes
So then George Bailey gets older, and his daddy dies, and he takes over his daddy's bank
So George is the... the bank man
And he takes his money and he puts it somewhere
And he forgets where he puts it
So he wants to kill himself, but then Clarence the angel comes down and shows George Bailey all these things
What it'd be like if George Bailey killed himself

And George Bailey says, I don't know if I want to kill myself... because I have a penis, and I like my penis
And my wife has a vagina... I can put my penis in her vagina, and we can make babies
And so they did
'Cuz boobies rule
So they made some babies
And George Bailey had a little girl, and then the little girl's like
Don't die George Bailey, 'cuz you're my daddy and I love you

And then Clarence the Angel... he ain't got no wings...
So George Bailey helps him out
So the little girl says, Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings
So I'm gonna sit here and ring this bell for ten minutes
And an angel better be gettin' its wings
Aight

I'm gonna tell you about a movie about a guy named Neon
And there's this woman named Trinity, she's a hot little mama
She said this isn't the real world
He goes what the hell? What the hell you talkin' about
But she's fine
So he says hey I'll go with whatever you say mama, so I can get me some lovin'
Oh yeah

Next thing you know she left
And I habphfandowax my jimmy
I said oh crap

Next thing you know I see this big black guy
He's pretty cool though, he like gives me like this pill and it's like whoa man

Next thing you know I'm bald and I got all kinds of crap stickin' outta me
Brawangosheeeit oh sheeeit

Spring a rumpdump shrimp

Next thing you know I'm killin' these androids, I'm jumpin' in this car
And next thing you know I jump inside and it explode like crazy
Explode like crazy

Next thing you know
They go sheeeeit, we're not gonna mess with him

So that's all I gotta say about that
Ole

Yeah
Whuzzup

Big Walrus Man up in da house

I'm here to tell you about a movie named Saving Private Ryan, starring Tom Hanks

Yeah... Uh-huh... Uh-huh... Yeah

Okay, so Tom Hanks is a retarded guy
Yeah, He's a retarded guy and he joins the Army
Yeah, he joins the Army and he gets sent to 'Nam
And it SUCKADICK
It SUCKADICK
It SUCKADICK because 'Nam sucks a dick
Yeah

And he's lookin' for this guy named Ryan, not Brian or Pryan, just Ryan
And he knows this guy named Bubba
He's retarded too
Bubba tells him about shrimp

Talkin' 'bout shrimp scampi, shrimp salad, shrimp sandwich, shrimp souffle
His momma cooks the shrimp, she puts 'em in a pot and says
COOK THEM DAMN SHRIMP
And she boils the motherfucker, she boils the motherfucker

Yeah
Oh yeah, so then
Yeah there's uh, let's see
There's shrimp casserole
I think I already said shrimp sandwich
So let's see, there's uh, upside down shrimp-cake, shrimp cocktail
And that's about it
Said that's about it, yeah

Yeah that's about it, yeah
That's all I have to say about that

Okay, so he's looking for Private Ryan
And Private Ryan
They can't find Private Ryan

And then Bubba dies and it suckadick
It suckadick, yeah

But that ain't all that happens
Tom Hanks gets shot in the ass
And Tom Hanks is like, holy shit something bit me in my ass
Yeah something bit me in my ass

Yeah
But then they find Private Ryan and then it's all good

Yeah
And Tom Hanks dies because he got shot in the ass
That's gotta suck

That's a shitload of angels with a shitload of wings

Aw fuck, I did the wrong fucking movie