When you're away
Things never ever are quite the same
Nothing is cool, everything is lame
It leaves me with a bitter taste

[Chorus]
There is piss in my Weetbix
There's ear wax all over the Jatz
The smeg in my lager's a shame
As is the shit in my champagne

It's been too long since you've been gone
And now it seems that everything's wrong
I'm hearing truths in the lyrics of Elton John

[Chorus]

Piss, Weetbix
Ear wax, all over the Jatz
Lager, a shame
As is the shit in my champagne
[Repeat to end]