SISTER CHANTELLE
Peter! Peter!

PETER
Fuck me!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Lovely intro

KYRA & TANYA
Watch your mouth, boy!

SISTER CHANTELLE
You need more help than I thought

PETER
What’s that supposed to mean?

SISTER CHANTELLE
Listen up, Peter
I may be a virgin but I ain’t new to the game
Don’t be frontin' with Mary

PETER
Holy shit!

SISTER CHANTELLE
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

KYRA & TANYA
Think it over.

PETER
Hail Mary full of grace

SISTER CHANTELLE
Stop, stop, stop!
Do you know how tired I am of that prayer?
What do you know about 2,000 years
And they still be saying the same prayer

KYRA & TANYA
Change is comin’ – it’s comin’!

SISTER CHANTELLE
I have a message for you, Peter

KYRA & TANYA
Listen closely

SISTER CHANTELLE
Now where’d I put it? All these pockets...
Oh yeah, here it is!

KYRA & TANYA
Seek and ye shall find

SISTER CHANTELLE
“You shall know the truth and it shall…”
Who writes this stuff?

KYRA & TANYA
Too generic

SISTER CHANTELLE
Never mind, I’m just gonna wing it

TANYA
Mary loves her puns

SISTER CHANTELLE
Now, I saw what you just did

KYRA & TANYA
Mary saw you

SISTER CHANTELLE
Seems the love that dare not speak its name done gone ahead and spoke

KYRA & TANYA
Now the secret’s out

SISTER CHANTELLE
You tell one person – that’s it – cat’s out of the bag

KYRA & TANYA
Will he keep it?

SISTER CHANTELLE
There’s a phone call that’s now overdue to your mother, baby

KYRA & TANYA
Time to call her up
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Get on mama’s line

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Heaven knows it's time.

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Can you put him through?

ALL THREE
Someone’s got a job to do

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Mama loves you, boy

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
You’re her pride and joy

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Get the doing done

ALL THREE
Reach out, baby – touch someone
911! Emergency! Time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call – you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all, go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world but first tell mama
Let her know!

SISTER CHANTELLE
I’ve read the books, Peter

KYRA & TANYA
Oprah picked ‘em

SISTER CHANTELLE
Sayin’ “Come out when you’re ready”
But don’t talk about it - be about it!

KYRA & TANYA
Come on, come on out, boy

SISTER CHANTELLE
Cause life is now, sugar

KYRA & TANYA
Gotta live your life

SISTER CHANTELLE
Don’t hide there under a bushel...
Or whatever my baby used to say

KYRA & TANYA
Jesus knows what’s up
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Help the boy connect

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Let him call collect

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Can you put him through?

ALL THREE
Someone’s got a job to do

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Got to change the plan

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Time to take a stand

KYRA & TANYA
Operator!

SISTER CHANTELLE
Get the doing done

ALL THREE
Reach out, baby, touch someone

911! Emergency! Time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call – you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all, go ahead and own up
Mop your mess up, drop the drama.
Tell the world but first tell mama.

911! Emergency! Life is full of choices
Baby, here’s a 411: with truth the world rejoices
Let it out, let mama in, boy, you need to hear the voices
Stop the secrets, drop the drama
Roll it out but first tell mama
Let her know!

SISTER CHANTELLE
That’s it. God bless.

PETER
But is it okay if I’m not sure… (?)

SISTER CHANTELLE
Uh-uh! No questions
This isn’t “Conversations with Mary”

KYRA & TANYA
It ain’t that book, baby

SISTER CHANTELLE
You’ll figure it out
And I’m on the tightest of schedules
Work, work, work, save, save, save
So many in need
But does the head of the first family lift a wing to help?
NO! Joseph be telling me
“I let you ride the donkey all the way to Bethlehem”
Now that was 2,000 years ago, ok?
I’m talkin’ about what has he done for me lately?

KYRA & TANYA
(Talking rapidly, I can’t understand them)

SISTER CHANTELLE
Keep back! Keep back! (?)
And I know two ladies who about to be touched by an angel
Get that now? [Smacks someone?]
We out!

[Kyra gives Peter a cell phone on their way out]

ALL THREE
911! Emergency! Time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call – you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all, go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world but first tell mama
Let her know!