It's his lucky day, thats a given
He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn
He's not addicted, he can stop anytime
But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine
This time I know Im gonna smash the bet
I foresee it smacked in the back of the net
Men grip slips, wipe their hands that sweat
The camera pans the away fans end
Twenty quid for blues to thrash the reds
Then cash that cash, when the ref has said
My mates out, his pads a mess
Its getting late, I've not dashed yet
The question I have to ask myself
Is can I see us not battering them?
If I cant see that, happening then
Im gonna put all my money down on one fat bet
Now I dont know the first thing about football
But my instincts tell me this is my windfall
It's his lucky day, thats a given
He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn
He's not addicted, he can stop anytime
But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine
This time I know I woulda cashed the lot
I woulda held in my hand the whole jackpot
The games won, the ends have a swap
2-0 up they're getting mashed up
But I wont win now, the chance flopped
Cause I couldnt make it to the damn shop
Might aswell put tea in that pot
Ive got nowhere else I have to bop
The question I have to ask one
Is how I managed, not to manage the trot
Maybe I could phone in and slap it on
Put all my money on a mid-match one
Yes, I dont know the first thing about football
But my instincts tell me this is my windfall
It's his lucky day, thats a given
He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn
He's not addicted, he can stop anytime
But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine
Shit, I'm mad glad I didnt back that match
Suppose to be an unproblematic catch
Full time the whistle blasted after
The last passer, passed the last pass
Would you believe how we fell back
Three goals lost in the last half
So glad I was stranded back at the flat
Wincing at every goal we let em have
The question I now have to ask
Is how the fuck did we get smashed that bad?
I just very, very nearly, nearly
Lost every penny of all my cash
Yes, I dont know the first thing about football
And my instincts almost led me to a pitfall
It's his lucky day, that was barmy
He didnt tick the box on the slip, and what a relief
He's not addicted, he can stop anytime
But next time he will be more lucky, next time he'll be fined
[x2]
I need to rethink the technique of my betting shit
Maybe change the parameters a little bit
Instead of betting on to win the football
I'll bet to lose the cricket