in my home and on my couch
lies a girl she's oh so dull
I've tried to ask her where she's from
she doesn't remember
no she doesn't care

she wears my clothes
and laughs at her own jokes
she writes silly poems in my palms

SHE DRINKS MY WINE
AND SPITS ON MY FLOOR
CUTS HER TOENAILS IN MY BED
THOUGH I HATE HER
I HAVE TO CONFESS
I AM ENVIOUS
I AM JEALOUS

she love to cry
to Ricki Lake
she orders pizza
and lets me pay
her topless lifestyle's
just too much
but without me
she just couldn't be

I'M HER BEST FRIEND
SHE ALWAYS SAYS
THOUGH SHE KEEPS FORGETTING
MY REAL NAME
I MUST HATE HER
BUT I MUST ADMIT
SHE IS SOMETHING I WISH I WERE