Feminine Hygoene - Heywood Banks

I was watching TV with my buddy Stevie
when we saw the strangest thing.
It was so compelling a woman was selling
maxipads that had wings.
I turned to channel three and what did i see,
a woman who looked real rich.
She was living on the hill and pitching vagisil
for the special feminine itch.
I tried once more and turned to channel four
and i was shocked i must confess.
A gal who was chunky said when shes smelling funky,
she just squirts it with FDS.

Well its on every station its plugging up the nation with feminine Hygiene ads.
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments and don't forget your maxipads,
Cause they have wings. To Fly. Lets give it a try,
Feminine Hygiene.

Well a momma and a daughter, walking by the water.
Somebody don't feel fresh.
Monistat 7 put her back in heaven
Cause the yeast really makes a mess.
Middle age deputante looking for a lubricant.
I still can hear her voice.
Her momma done told her when a woman gets older,
the muffin down stairs don't stay moist.

Well its on every station an over saturation of feminine Hygiene dames.
Creams and lotions and all her emotions and all the water she retains.
Its so insane, this game. Theres too many names
of Feminine Hygiene.

Why do we have to view, all that stuff girls go through?
Its really got my stomach re-eeling.
Lets give those ads we see a hysterectomy
Or at least make them more appealing.

Cause there on every station an over saturation of feminine Hygiene ads.
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments, creams and lotions and all her emotions.
Summers eve, and massengill, and if you itch use vagisil.
Kotex, tampax, Gynacort, and yeast-ex.
Norforms, pamprin, Feminique and Pequin,
Motrin, Mydol for when you're suicidial,
MoniStat, FemiStat, a plug for this, a pad for that
the list goes on and on.
it's so insane to me, it's on my TV, it's Feminine Hygiene

Oh oh oh oh

It's on my TV, it's Feminine Hygiene.
The Lyrics were posted by Gouge.