i slept next to your broken wrist and dreamt i was a vine that grew out of a lover's kiss and wrapped around your spine. will you stay in my life? i wish we were tied together sometimes, entwined by a family line. i wish i was your sister sometimes. like tonight, i dry your eyes. you cough and then smile and say "it'll be alright." will you be alright? i trace the tattoo on the back of your neck. there's a picture drawn there of the place you left where you cannot see it, but you can't forget. it's there permanently like a badge of regret. there's a row of ocean shells where they should be a garden. one for each whispered word you could tell me one for each secret. so i'm _ in a dirt sky. i wish you'd trade your secrets for mine. i plant them, and in time, flowers would bloom and burst through the room where we'd lie and cover our eyes. i'd be that vine. the sun would shine in an endless springtime. but for now, the flower pots only hold cigarette butts. there's a headstone above the nights we talked. there's a different name whispered in your yard, but it sounds the same as the one you want, the one you want. now i feel so overwhelmed. i had to sit out by myself on the curb beside your house with my collar in my mouth and the feelings that i felt, i had to lay them all out in chalk writing on the ground for you to step around. and the rain that ends the drought and would've let our seeds sprout would just wash my words out. just wash my words out.