Im David Makalaster
Your 10 O'clock newscaster
My lips are moving faster
Than my mind can comprehend
I'm David Makalaster
Your 10 O'clock newscaster
Some call me Mr. mealy-mouth
But think of me as friend

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And since I've cut my intake down my liver's on the mend

'Cause I am David Makalaster, your 10 O'clock newscaster, good evening and here's what's new

Isn't it awefully nice
To live in a world
where everything's exactly how it seems?
We live in a world
where all you have to do is sit around and dream
About the things that make you happy
about the things that make you smile
Sit back, relax, apathy's back in style

Im David Makalaster
Your 10 O'clock newscaster
And I verbally execute
Every word I say
I'm David Makalaster
Your 10 O'clock newscaster
Only six percent of America
Thinks that I am gay

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And if you see the spider
Don't spoil your curds and whey