There oughta be a law against you
I'm thinking it'd be making sense too
I knew I'd never get a moment's peace
but if I write a letter to the chief of police

there'll be a warrant out for your arrestingness
and you'll only make it harder if you don't confess
there'll be a hollow ring to your alibis
when you're led into the courtroom
with your big blue eyes

there oughta be a law about you
then nobody'd have to live without you
I'll spend the wee wee hours just counting sheep
until some deputy can earn his keep

when there's a warrant out for your arrestingness
and you'll only make it harder as you do protest
they'll be closing up the doors and locking up the locks
when they put the jury outright in the witness box

I'll find the officer in charge
and complain about the dream-like trances
for as long as you are still at large
I know that I am taking chances...

if your transgression I could not expand on
then you just might have a leg to stand on
I'd like to tell you now right to your face
there is no question that they'll have a case

when there's a warrant out for your arrestingness
and you'll only make it harder if you don't confess
everyone will see an ordinance is more than bent
as you proudly tell the jury that you're innocent