I got a job in Atlanta in a mall playing Santa
Not because of any talent but because I was the
only one the suit would fit
Everybody shopping, little sticky kids were hopping
on my lap with their fingers in my beard,
I guess they thought that I was really it
She sat down on my lap and said to me
"I'm twenty three and I need someone
You look like someone who could play with me
Stay with me, all day with me"

'Cause I'm in no man's land
Can't seem to find a real man
You know I'm lookin' for a steel man
She said I'm in no man's land
I'm gonna show you a real good time
I'd gladly pay you double overtime

She was beggin' to be mine, but my job was on the line
Should I say or should I go? I just didn't know
...Hmmmm

I left fifty kids standin' in line, they were whining, they were crying
and their mothers they were screaming in hysterics and I swear
I never heard such profanity
I dropped my suit on the floor,
they were trying to block the door
They were calling her a whore
They were driven to nativital insanity
We drove away in her Mercedes Benz,
dirty blond split ends in the breeze
She said "I want to put you under my tree
You're just a little gift from me to me"

'Cause I'm in no man's land
Can't seem to find a real man
You know I'm lookin' for a steel man
She said I'm in no man's land
You know I'm ready for a real good time
I'd gladly pay you double overtime

She had money all her life
She wasn't lookin' to become my wife
She said, "I hope you understand,
I just want a nightful of man, Sonny"

She didn't notice I was thin with a delicate chin
Nor the softness of my skin, nor the scent of my other personalities
She didn't see through my disguise - didn't see it in my eyes
She was in for a surprise when she discovered my emotional plurality

She said "Come and lay down on the floor with me
It's warmer here by the fire"
She didn't know that there was more of me
She'd have to learn to love all four of me

'Cause I'm in no man's land
I'm lookin' for the real me
If only I could feel me
You know I'm in no man's land
Sometimes I gotta play me
It's really hard to stay me
Hey, I'm in no mans land
I'm looking for the real me
If only I could feel me
You know I'm in no man's land
Sometimes I gotta play me
It's really hard to stay me
Oh, I'm in no man's land
I'm looking for the real me
If only I could feel me