Now don't get me wrong
When you hear this song
'Cause I got five Project Pitchfork CDs on my desk
Playing more than occasionally
XMTP MP3s
But we're the English Police,
and you're under arrest!
First off, the letter "V"
Is pronounced differently
Than the way in which the letter "W" is said
Such linguistic mistakes
Should be harder to make
If you called up an American goth and got your shit proofread!

Chorus:
For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense
Your judgement has been made and it decrees that forthhence
Project Pitchfork, E-Craft, and Funker Vogt
Your English License has been revoked!
For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense
Your judgement has been made and it decrees that forthhence
Neuroticfish and E-Craft, and Funker Vogt
Your English License has been revoked!

And I will concede
That I will stomp 'till I bleed
To your music 'cause I'm not a hater
But it's hard sound tough,
Even vocoding wont' be enough,
If your lyrics are written by a first grader
But I'll let you off with a warning
If you promise me one thing:
That you'll figure out what the proper syllables to accent are
'Cause your looped layers of static
Will sound more dramatic
When you don't sing like a goddamn dork...ALLES KLAR?

(chorus)

Breakdown:
Bands are on the run from the grammatical police
For their own good, we gotta find and fix mistakes from Germanese
No more changing words to make a rhyme or rhyming same words twice
'Cause it's possible write a hit were the words aren't sacrificed
Soon we're gonna go put other places to the test
By fixing up their lyrics, Scandanavia is next
Making yudgements on the quality of lyrical esteem
Chopping up shitty lyrics with a guillotine
The right accents aren't required to garner our approval
But singing like an idiot means license removal
And I aware of my own lyrical shortcomings
Pronunciation errors that knock me out the running
Saying Funker, not "Foonkah", when I know that that is wrong
Showing blatant hypocrisy within my own damn song
But I'll make an effort and strain
To get it right on the refrain
And here it comes again
So raise your voice (not woice) and sing along!

(chorus x2)