I don't care for city life
Moved to town just to please my wife
Ain't allowed to whittle with my pocket knife
I want to go back to the farm.

Can't wear overalls no more
City carpets all over the floor
Miss the boys from the general store
I want to go back to the farm.

Sure miss fishin' in old mud creek
Neighbors ain't friendly, they won't speak
Gotta take a bath at least once a week
Never had to do that on the farm.

My what I do to please the spouse
I was a man now I feel like a mouse
Bathroom built right inside the house
Ain't like it was on the farm.

Fancy restaurants, neon light
Women walkin' 'round in tights
I even miss the chigger bites
I used to get on the farm.

Suppose to be a life of ease
Well, guess I'm just a little hard to please
Momma don't fix them black-eyed peas
Like she done back on the farm.

My that wife of mine is a sight
Wears that girdle to darned tight
Gonna learn to play bridge tonight
Hm, sure weren't like that on the farm.

Don't get milk from cows no more
Comes in a bottle right to the door
You know I ain't had a saddle sore
Since I left my home on the farm.

I'm a little older but a whole lot wiser
My widfe calls me a cheap old miser
Miss that smell of fertilizer
That we had back on the farm.

She just jabbers on the phone
Talkin' about puttin' the neighbors on
She's gonna find herself alone
'Cause I'm headin' back to the farm...