FZ: Thank you. (Brian, I could use a little bit more monitor). Hello hello (can't you turn it up any more than that?) Hello hello . . . Hey! Alright! Pardon me, folks. The name of this song is "Penguin in Bondage," an' it's a song that, uh, deals with the possible variations on a basic theme which is . . .
well, you understand what the basic theme is. And then the variations include, uh, manoeuvres that might be executed with the aid of, uh, extra-terrestrial gratification and devices which might or might not be supplied in a local department store or perhaps a drugstore but at very least in one of those fancy new shops that they advertise in the back-pages of the free press. This song suggests to the suggestible listener that the ordinary procedure, uh, that I'm circumlocuting at this present time in order to get this text on television, is that, uh, if you wanna do something other than what you thought you were gonna do when you first took your clothes off and you just happened to have some DEVICES around . . . then it's, it's not only okay to get into the PARAPHERNALIA of it all but . . . hey! What did he say? Ready?

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn
Way over on the wet side
Of the bed (Knirps for moisture)

Just like the mighty Penguin
Flappin' her eight ounce wings
(The Penguin Flap)

Lord, you know it's all over
If she come atcha on the strut & wrap 'em all around yer head
Flappin' her eight ounce wings, flappinumm

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Shake up the pale-dry
Ginger ale

Tremblin' like a Penguin
When the battery fail

Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through a hoopa real fire
With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn
Howlin' over to some
Antarcticulated moon

In the frostbite nite
With her flaps gone white
Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room
(Everytime she sees the hoop)

You know it must be a Penguin bound down
If you hear that terrible screamin' and there ain't no other
Birds around

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahennnn
Aw, you must be careful
Not to leave her straps
TOO LOOSE

'Cause she just might box yer dog
She just might box yer doggie
An' leave you a dried-up dog biscuit . . .