Last night you made a mistake
You're sorry you got me thinking you would stay
But you're a mess, you don't want me around
As long as you hate yourself you will only let me down

Well that's sweet, how you're thinking of me
I deserve the best and so you'll let me be
You could've thought of that before you opened up old wounds
Made love to me and then hit me with the news
Well go on leave then, but before you do
Time Magazine just called, they want to talk to you:

œCongratulations! You are the asshole of the year!?
You just won something, so you can stop feeling so sorry for you dear
If you're confused, conflicting voices in your head
Why don't you and you go fight it out so I can dump whoever's left

Oh shit, when did it get this bad?
I was your princess, now I'm your whore instead
If last night you were just making a mistake
To hell with you, you're not the man I fell in love with anyway
So put on your pants and go
I'm taking the CDs but you take home the gold

Congratulations! You are the asshole of the year!
Put on your medal and stop feeling so sorry for you,
So you're confused, conflicting voices in your head?
Why don't you and you go fight it out so I can dump whoever's left

Which one of you slept with me last night,
Which one of you is leaving today
I'm guessing that it don't matter much
You both are assholes anyway

Congratulations! You are the asshole of the year!
You won at something so you can stop feeling so sorry for you dear
I'll never reason with all the voices in your head
So why don't you and you go fight it out and I'll just dump whoever's left
Yeah, I will dump whoever's left