If I was a talking baby, I could fit beneath the sofa,
Get on my knees and crawl under.
What would you do if I couldn’t prove myself to you?
Go to hell and pump thunder.

If I was a magic carpet, could I take you for a ride?
Sit on me and let me take you to heaven.
And would you feel cheated if we simply couldn’t reach it?
If I could only just make it passed Cloud Seven.

And maybe I’m never gonna be,
All the things I’d like to be,
Stop this strive for perfection.

If I was a mystic wizard, would you turn a trick on me?
Yeah, you’ve sure got that gift, you entrance me.
Now, that reads wrong, still I’ll put it in this song,
It’s a cry for you to come and romance me.

If I was a rich man, would you cast a glance my way?
In my fast car, in my fine suit with my ego.
But I ain’t no millionaire, clothes off the peg, shave my own hair,
And there’ll always be problems wherever we go.

Maybe I’m never gonna be,
All the things I’d like to be,
Why do we strive for perfection?
And maybe I’m being a fool,
Spending all this time on you.
Maybe I won’t survive.

If I was a handsome man, then would I catch your eye?
If I was the life and soul of the party.
If I could make you laugh I bet you’d soon stop making me cry,
But if you stopped making me cry, where would I be?

I guess I’m never gonna be,
All the things you want me to be,
Only fools believe in perfection.
And yes, I guess I’m just a fool,
Spending all my time on you,
Maybe I won’t survive.
Remember perfection is a fault,
Do we really have a hope?
Do we really have a prayer?
I don’t drip with golden rings,
Don’t know what perfection brings,
Look, the bald guy don’t know what he sings!
Who the fuck am I trying to kid?
Trying to keep these feelings hid,
Maybe I won’t survive.
It seems this ordinary guy,
Tried his best to catch your eye,
This fool such as I.
I know I’m never gonna be,
All the things I’d love to be,
Part of you is part of me.
And I will never light the night,
Shield your eyes from the light,
Lay you down to go to sleep.
I know I’ll never hang the moon,
Dot the sky with stars in June,
Take your hand and fly away.
I’ll never change anyone’s world,
Make the boy love the girl,
You’ll never think of me when I leave.
You said you want to see me smile,
You’re gonna have to wait a while,
All you’ve done is break my heart.
I am not everyone,
Every father, every son,
I am not anyone.

I am not everyone.
I am not everyone.
I am not everyone.
I am not anyone…

…But I just want you to need me,
And I just need you to want me.