Hey Stupid,
You’re the Queen of Conversation,
You’re the darling of the nation,
And you’re choking me.
I’m not your atom, nuclear fission,
Nor your flickering television,
Do you think I’m on a mission?
I’m just broken me.

Hey Stupid,
You go riding in to battle,
With your herd of stolen cattle,
Memory’s hazy.
I’m not your source of inspiration,
Nor you saviour nor salvation,
Nor your theory of creation,
Have you gone crazy?

I’ve got a t-shirt,
Gonna wear it ‘til my teeth hurt,
‘Til my fingers curl like monkeys,
And my nostrils bleed!
Each night I’ll clean it,
Super-spin and wash machine it,
So I can wear it and I’ll mean it,
And the caption will read:
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
And Stupid’s with me.

Hey Stupid,
Did you believe when I told you,
That I’d dearly love to hold you,
For evermore?
Inside I’m not really trying,
‘Cos emotion’s always dying,
And I’ve never seen you crying,
Have you done it before?

Hey Stupid,
What’s with all the bitchin’?
There’s a rat loose in the kitchen,
Eating crumbs that he sees.
Shall we drive or take a walk,
‘Cos it’d be so nice to talk,
When I’m looking like a dork,
In the summer breeze.

I’ve got a t-shirt,
Gonna wear it ‘til my teeth hurt,
‘Til my fingers curl like monkeys,
And my nostrils bleed!
Each night I’ll clean it,
Super-spin and wash machine it,
So I can wear it and I’ll mean it,
And the caption will read:
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
And Stupid’s with me.

I’m sorry.
Did I say something that offended you?
I didn’t mean it,
Is there something I can do to make amends with you?
I wanna do you,
Crawl into your room and climb in bed with you.
Make you tremble,
Make your body ache, and shake, and share this feeling with you?
But I’m such a fool!

Hey Stupid,
Does it tickle when I do that?
Does it make you throw your head back?
Have we been here before?
‘Cos I’m useless at devotion,
And I cover my emotion,
So let’s run into the ocean,
Drown for evermore.

I’ve got a t-shirt,
Gonna wear it ‘til my teeth hurt,
‘Til my fingers curl like monkeys,
And my nostrils bleed!
Each night I’ll clean it,
Super-spin and wash machine it,
So I can wear it and I’ll mean it,
And the caption will read:
“I’m with Stupid!”
I’ve got a t-shirt,
Gonna wear it ‘til my teeth hurt,
‘Til my fingers curl like monkeys,
And my nostrils bleed!
Each night I’ll clean it,
Super-spin and wash machine it,
So I can wear it and I’ll mean it,
And the caption will read:
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
And Stupid’s with me.
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
“I’m with Stupid!”
And Stupid’s with me.