I hang out in bars, bother the dollies,
Speak when I'm not spoken to;
Bum cigarettes, flirt with the waitress,
Wearing a mirror on my shoe;
I sing all the songs along with the jukebox,
Tell jokes that everyone's heard,
Then late in the evening the bartender calls me
I've never forgoten his words:

Honkytonk asshole
I'm talking to you
I've told you and told you
But there's no getting through.
You're bad fer my business,
You bother and bore,
Honkytonk asshole,
Get your ass out the door.

I write on the walls, throw butts on the floor
Brag about horses I've rode,
Dance with a darlin' and step on her feet
They think I'm one brick shy a load.
But I do right well, feelin' up dollies
Tellin' my stories out loud
Until thatbatender figgers me out
And calls to me over the crowd.

Honkytonk asshole
I'm talking to you
I've told you and told you
But there's no getting through.
You're bad fer my business,
You bother and bore,
Honkytonk asshole,
Get your ass out the door.